guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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