we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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