Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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