Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
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I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Two words: nipple clamps
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