We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize