my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize