Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize