What a fucking waste of an outfit
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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