Kiss
Puke
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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