Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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