I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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