he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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