i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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