I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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