Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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