god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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