I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize