You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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