So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
