Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize