Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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