Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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