the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
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I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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