Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize