She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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