I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
this boner is exhausting
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize