dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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