we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize