Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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