god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize