I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize