But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
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Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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