why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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