I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
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can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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