4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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