home. puking in laundry basket.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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