I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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