ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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