Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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