no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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