He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
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Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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