I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
A+ Viking dick
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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