OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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