Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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