The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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