I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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