he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
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i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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