people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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