my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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