dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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