I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize