Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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