Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize